Today I’m recycling.

On April 8, 1988 my father, Jack, wrote me this letter. It was my 18th birthday and I was preparing for my first year at Penn State University.

In light of all the issues and chaos around us, I wanted share this letter in hopes it may serve as a guide for any parent who wishes to leave a lasting legacy for their child.  I have all the notes and letters my parents ever wrote.  They are the best gifts I have ever received.

Here it goes:

“Dear Dana:

Yep, another letter. Since I cannot give you anything meaningful materially, my wish is to offer something of me worth keeping.

Dana, we can hardly believe you are 18. It seems like yesterday we were scrubbing off mud, keeping monsters away from your bedrooms, going to swim meets and playing with friends, besides practicing for hoop shoots.

Today, in the eyes of the law, you are an adult.  You can vote, which we urge  you to never miss an opportunity. You can drive a car on your own and be penalized on your own instead of as a minor. You can commit to a contract and be held to it. Generally, you now have all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities as an adult.

Now 18 is not yet totally adult. Sometimes. 18 acts like 26. Sometimes, 18 acts like 10.  Each year more and more maturity occurs until the youth diminishes and the responsible, accountable for her own actions, person appears.  This happens so gradually that you are hardly aware of the change.

High school in Greenwich seems to have been very good for you.  Probably, you did no more and certainly no less than would have done anywhere, but Greenwich gave the opportunity to associate with a much broader based assortment of people.  You have stretched your horizons and increased your ambitions.  This too, has been a life lesson.

Your short-term remaining 1988 job ahead is to become more emotionally consistent, diminish the moodiness seen at home and develop increased flexibility both at home and with people. (I believe the picture below may represent that moodiness dad was referring to.)

Your well-earned success in sports and school and social leadership has shown you that you can get along academically without much true effort; particularly this senior year (pre definition of senioritis).  An important personal priority is to re-establish focus on education and its lifelong importance.

Life is a continuous learning experience. School studies duplicate those experiences, almost like a dress rehearsal. Be shown, be tested.

Reading is the key to learning and, that like your left hand, seeks further work. Reading is the slam dunk of knowledge because no one can gain enough just by living. Learn through the writings of others.

Your mind is as good as you will it to be. Believe it or not, your physical restrictions far exceed your mental ones. This may not now seem true, but one is quite developed and trained regularly and the other is still growing.

18, graduation, leaving home for long periods, starting college, attending to your own laundry, balancing a checkbook are ahead and big life milestones; both for you and mom and me. I wish Pop (my grandfather) could be around to see you. He would be so proud, as we are.

Should you grow, mature, and develop these next years as you have during the Greenwich years, our world will be getting a pretty good American citizen.  Society will gain.

Life is exciting and we are excited for you.

With much love,

Mom & Dad”

It’s quite simple–a hand-written letter still goes a long way.

Who will you write your letter to?  Cheers!!